It’s no different at King, the restaurant owner/chef Clare de Boer co-owns in New York City.

But the knowing confidence of the staff is what generates Stissing House’s ease and warmth. Yes, the beamed ceilings, well-tended fireplaces and upholstered wingback chairs help.

There are local museums in buildings equally old and they’re as welcoming as an Urgent Care, so a storied history isn’t the draw. A take-a-breath-and-exhale-now ambience envelops you the moment you walk in and it’s not simply because the structure is 240 years old. I’m not merely comfortable at Stissing House, I’d move in if they’d sublet me one of the rooms. So, when going out with my preferred table of four (six max) I either try to recall an acoustically flat area of a dining room (oh, I scout and check) I know, or seek a restaurant whose design and staff is unphased by the challenge.

I also know I’m in the minority here, because local restaurants are full of large parties of friends and family having the best time, oblivious to the kitchen they back up and the raucousness they generate. I’d rather stay home and eat tuna fish directly out of a can. Instead, you’re likely to speak with whomever is on your left or across from you, keep apologizing to the person on your right, occasionally wink at someone sitting at the other end while making a “call me” gesture with your hand against your ear, get the dregs of a family style pass around platter thanks to one unidentifiable glutton amidst the throng and as the alcohol consumption increases, find yourself at a table whose decibel level now dominates the room and end the evening making apologies to your out-of-earshot tablemates for not getting to say much to each other. Well, unless your friends are more harmonious than a Mennonite choir, there’s no way to engage everyone at that long table in a single conversation. I mean, you start out planning to dine with a few friends and somehow the text goes round, and you wind up at a table of ten. I’m not objecting to being at a celebration, like a gala or a wedding. The best dining is intimate dining-no groups allowed.

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